(00:00): Welcome to the Merlin English Afterthoughts. Throughout this series, we'll be looking back at previous audio blogs and discussing them in a bit more detail.

(00:10): Today, we'll be looking back at episode number seven, the intermediate audio blog titled Navigating UK Customs and Social Norms.

(00:19): Now of course, then, I'm here at www.merlinenglish.co.uk/members where we have this episode's full web page along with the transcription and additional resources.

(00:31): In this audio blog then we have four main sections of text. And today we're going to go through each of these sections and add a little bit more information and a bit more detail, where necessary.

(00:44): If we make a start then by looking at the first section, and the first section is all about greetings and etiquette. Now in this section, we suggest that when meeting someone for the first time, you offer them a firm handshake, you give them your name and you maintain eye contact whilst doing this.

(01:04): Now, the handshake, the handshake is a very useful tool to have, handshakes can be used in a variety of settings, they can be used for formal occasion, informal occasion, they can be used to greet older people, younger people, we can really use handshakes in any situation.

(01:22): Now for British people, British people are seen to be slightly more reserved than other countries. People in the UK tend to value personal space quite a lot, so especially when meeting someone for the first time, offering a handshake is really your safest option.

(01:40): As you start to build up more of a relationship, or a friendship, you're going to start greetings where people are hugging each other, perhaps for women, they might kiss eacother on the cheek a couple of times, for men, you’ll often see people just nod at each other. And these are going to be as your relationships build and develop.

(02:00): Now we mention here for formal settings, we could use titles such as Mr, Mrs, Miss and Ms, and I want to just briefly go over each of these just to make sure that we are completely clear on the differences.

(02:14): So of course Mr is going to be used for a men, Mrs would be used for married women, Miss would be for unmarried women and Ms is going to be for women who do not wish to disclose whether they are married or not.

(02:31): Now there is another title which sometime you might hear, and this is the title of master. So the title Master is given to boys who are under of 18. So for example, when I was younger, I might have been called Master Harriman.

(02:46): Now this is something that is a bit archaic, a bit old fashioned, it’s something that you tend to not hear anymore. Usually you would just call a young boy Mr nowadays, but in some settings, say in a bank for example, you can still see this as an option.

(03:03): Now titles, titles are going to be used when we are first interacting with someone, when we're first meeting someone, and after those first few times, it would be quite common for people to invite you to use their first name.

(03:18): For example, if somebody is calling me Mr. Harriman, Mr. Harriman, Mr. Harriman, I might say to them, please call me Will, and from that point on, we would be on first name basis, and it would be natural for us to use each other's first names instead of those titles.

(03:35): Now, in more informal settings, we're going to have terms such as mate, pal, buddy we can often have the term darling or love, and in the UK it's quite common for us to put the word alright before that. So, all right, mate, all right, darling, all right, love.

(03:52): And this is going to be a common introduction, a common casual introduction, but we also have to be a bit careful.

(03:59): We want to make sure that we're not sounding condescending when saying this, so make sure the environment is right, make sure the setting is right, and just be wary of that.

(04:09): As far as small talk goes, again, this is going to be something which people tend to be a bit reserved at when meeting someone for the first time.

(04:19): We do just want to keep conversation very light and in British culture, of course, it would be rude to ask somebody about say salary, how much they're getting paid, if they're married or not.

(04:30): And for women, you would never ask a woman her age not, not at least on the first few interactions. So small talk, keep it light. Talk about jobs speak about the weather or what you've been up to. But again, do not go too deep into asking too many questions.This might come across that you are sort of prying and this can tend to take people back a little bit.

(04:53): In the next section then, we talk about dining etiquette.

(04:57): Now there are a few unwritten rules when it comes to dining and eating and we're going to be going a bit deeper here now. So the first one we speak about then is punctuality.

(05:08): So punctuality is something which is important in the UK. It definitely is considered rude for you to arrive somewhere late and also it's considered a bit inconsiderate if you arrive somewhere a bit too early.

(05:23): So when you are going to parties or events, try to aim to be there five or ten minutes beforehand. You don't want to be too early and you definitely do not want to be too late either.

(05:33): Now, now if you are attending a dinner event at somebody's house, if somebody has invited you to come over, of course, it is polite to bring a small gift.

(05:42): People would usually bring, say, a bottle of wine, maybe some flowers, even a box of chocolates or something. And this is, of course, just to show that you appreciate the gesture of them inviting you over and preparing food for you.

(05:55): So once you're sat down at the table and you are ready to eat, there are a few basic table manners which I think everybody should have. The first and most important being to wait for everybody to have their food, to wait for everybody to be served and then for you to all start eating at the same time.

(06:14): Of course for people in Asian countries it is okay for people to slurp their food. In the UK this would be frowned upon for people would not be very happy if you were doing this.

(06:25): We mentioned here in the audio blog as well about holding the fork in your left hand, the knife in your right hand.

(06:32): Is that too important? Probably not. Table manners this is going to really depend on the level of society that you are living within for people working class.

(06:44): These types of things are probably not going to be too important. Most people probably wouldn't even notice these differences. But again, if you're in more of a formal setting.

(06:54): If you're in more of a high society setting then these are going to be things which you perhaps want to pay a bit more attention to.

(07:01): Now, something to consider then when you are seated and sat at the table is going to be the layout of what you see in front of you.

(07:09): Now, for somebody who is not familiar with knives and forks and using these utensils, this might be a bit confusing and a bit overwhelming. Now this is going to be a very standard, typical layout that you would see at, say, a nice restaurant, for example.

(07:25): And we can see here that we have different utensils that are used for different purposes. So, as a general rule of thumb, we will always be working our way from the outside, inwards.

(07:37): So we can see here on the far right, we have the soup spoon. Of course, if you order a soup for your starter, you would use this spoon.

(07:44): Likewise, we have this smaller fork on the left-hand side, and this would be your salad fork. For your main meals, you would then have the two bigger utensils, the bigger knife and the bigger fork, and typically, you will have a meat fork as well. If you have ordered a steak or something, this will help you cut through that.

(08:04): On the top, then, we'll be working our way through. You can see we have dessert spoons and desserts forks. These are, again, going to be a little bit smaller, and this is going to be which you would use after your main meal.

(08:15): We do also have a couple of ways which we can indicate to the waiter or waitress if we have finished eating or if we have just, if we are just resting.

(08:25): So we can see here we would lay our knife and fork in two different ways on our plate. So, when we are just taking a rest, when we are just taking a breather, we are going to place our knives and forks like this on the left hand side, where we kind of place them on top of each other, kind of crossed over a diagonal angle. Now this is going to indicate that you are still eating, you have not finished eating, you are just taking a brief pause.

(08:48): Now on the right hand side we can see where we have the knife and fork together closed and this is going to indicate to the waiter or waitress that you are finished eating and that you are ready for your plate to be taken away.

(09:01): Of course, if you do not eat all of your meal, this is something which is a useful indicator for the wait staff to see if you are finished or not.

(09:11): Another little thing to point out then would be, the use of your napkin. Again, we have the napkin here on the left hand side. And typically, when you get your napkin, it would be considered correct for you to put the napkin on your lap.

(09:22): And this just saves it if you are spilling any food, you do not get it on your trousers, it would fall into your napkin instead. You might sometimes see people putting napkins in their collar and this is going to be to prevent food falling down their shirt.

(09:35): Now again, in more informal settings, this is going to be something which is okay. Maybe if you're with close friends or family, this is perfectly fine.

(09:44): However, if you are at a more formal event, say you're at a work event or a business event it typically would be seen as a bad table manners for you to put a napkin within your collar.

(09:56): Now, while there might seem like there are a few different rules here, again, as we mentioned in the audio blog, do not worry too much about this, do not stress too much if you are ever in doubts, you can just look at the person next to you, see what they are doing and copy that.

(10:10): Again, for most people, most people really will not be too bothered about this it's something which most people will not really care too much.

(10:18): Again, as long as you're eating with your mouth closed, as long as you're not being loud or making a mess, most people are going to be absolutely fine with however you decide to eat.

(10:28): Moving on then to the third section where we talk about just some general cultural norms.

(10:34): Of course here we mention politeness. The UK is known for being quite a polite country so things like using manners, please, thank you, excuse me, this is going to be very important as well as smaller things such as holding a door open for someone, this is going to be something you're going to see quite

(10:53): Usually when we are in school, when we're in primary school you will line up for your class and then you will practise holding the door for the person behind you.

(11:02): So holding the door open for people, this is something which is quite ingrained in the minds of British people. So if you do see someone approaching, it is polite to open the door, allow them through first or, you know, hold the door after you've walked through.

(11:18): This is going to be something which is common and as we mentioned here, this is something that both men do to women, women do to men.

(11:25): It's just seen as courtesy and polite. Another big thing is queuing. Queuing is very important. If you were to jump in the queue or jump in line people would be quite angry at this and this doesn't just apply to when you're in a shop.

(11:41): For example, this also applies to when you're waiting for a service. So a very common time you're gonna see this is when you go to the bar in a pub when you're waiting if somebody was there before you and the barman comes up to you it is correct for you to tell them that this person which was actually here before you and they should be served first. This is shown as a courtesy and good manners. It's something that is expected of you.

(12:08): Now we also see here about apologising. Apologising again is quite a British thing. You're gonna hear the word sorry a lot if you visit the UK. And again, this is just to show that you acknowledge somebody.

(12:22): If somebody walks into you, you know, it's natural for you to say, oh, sorry. Even if you were not the person in the wrong, this just shows that you understand this was a mistake.

(12:31): It's okay. There's no problem there to be had. So sorry is going to be one of the most common words that you have if you visit the UK. And if you make a mistake, if you nudge into somebody and always offer an apology again, this is seen as just polite and seen as something which is good-mannered.

(12:50): The final section that we have here is about clothing and fashion.

(12:54): Now of course the UK is a very diverse place. There are people that wear many different outfits, have many different styles.

(13:02): Of course when you are out in public you can wear whatever you want to an extent. However, something to consider is when you are planning on going to say a certain bar, or a certain club, or a certain event. Usually these places will have dress codes, especially if you are going later on at night.

(13:22): There will be some places which will not allow trainers. You will have to wear something a bit smarter. Things like tracksuit bottoms can not be allowed in some places. It can even be that you are not allowed to wear jeans. So consider that when you are attending somewhere, you do check the dress code beforehand.

(13:41): You do check what is allowed. And this is going to save you perhaps some hassle and maybe a taxi back home and then back to the bar. This can be a bit of a, a bit of a pain sometimes, especially if you're wanting to just go out and have some fun.

(13:55): Now that then covers the four main sections from the audio blog. Now some things just to keep in mind is that of course the UK is a very diverse place. People are used to interacting with foreigners and understand that perhaps everybody is not completely aware of the small cultural norms and the small details.

(14:18): So do not worry too much about it, do not stress too much, as long as you are being friendly, as long as you're trying your best to be polite, people will see that, people will recognise that and yeah, do not worry too much about that.

(14:30): Unfortunately, that's all we've got time for today. Thank you very much for watching until the end and I will hope you have a great day. Hopefully, see you in the next one.